Apropos of nothing
By Brendan Loy
Somehow, I've had this blog for over six years without ever posting this clip. Well, time to fix that omission while there's still time:
About me
I'm Brendan Loy, a 26-year-old graduate of USC and Notre Dame now living and working in Knoxville, Tennessee. My wife Becky and I are brand-new parents of a beautiful baby girl, born on New Year's Eve.
I'm a big-time sports fan, a politics, media & law junkie, an astronomy buff, a weather nerd, an Apple aficionado, a Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter fanatic, and an all-around dork. My blog is best-known for its coverage of Hurricane Katrina, but I blog about anything and everything that interests me.
You can contact me at irishtrojan [at] gmail.com, or donate to my "tip jar" by clicking the link below:
I'm a big-time sports fan, a politics, media & law junkie, an astronomy buff, a weather nerd, an Apple aficionado, a Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter fanatic, and an all-around dork. My blog is best-known for its coverage of Hurricane Katrina, but I blog about anything and everything that interests me.
You can contact me at irishtrojan [at] gmail.com, or donate to my "tip jar" by clicking the link below:
June 2008
Funny Stuff
Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic trials
By David K.
So, the far-right group American Family Association is one of apparently many right-wing groups that use auto-correct to replace potentially offensive (to them at least) words in articles posted to their news streams. I don't even know if it's legal to take an AP article and auto-replace words like that.
Well, the AFA has a problem with the word "gay" and so they auto-replace it with the word "homosexual". (Any of you following the Olympic trials can see where this is going.) Trouble is that "gay" isn't always used to mean homosexual. Not only can it mean happy, it also happens to be a not uncommon last name. Such is the case with Olympic sprinter Tyson Gay. Which of course leads us to the utterly hilarious headline that is the title of this post.
You can read more about this utterly pointless and unintentionally hillarious pseudo-censorship here.
N.C. says no to WTF
By Brendan Loy
If you're a North Carolina resident, and you're offended by your own license plate because it begins with the letters "WTF," you can get it replaced for free.
It seems that DMV officials "learned last year the common acronym stands for a vulgar phrase in e-mail and cell phone text messages." Heh. No word on whether the initial discovery of this fact was met with an expression of incredulous disbelief -- for instance, "STFU!"
Coming soon: the N.C. DMV discovers the hidden meaning of "POS" and various other three-letter combinations, and decides to stop making such a BFD out of this sort of BS.
How to be a bandwagon fan
By Brendan Loy
SportsPickle's DJ Gallo writes a handy guide to being a bandwagon fan for ESPN's Page 2. Money quote: "don't let [people] anywhere near your car. They might get the wrong impression when they see that your bumper is covered in Red Sox, Yankees, Lakers, Celtics, Cowboys, Patriots, USC football and Duke basketball stickers. As though it's your fault that you have deep, childhood ties to all those teams!" Heh.
Speaking of which, hey, how 'bout those Cubs? ;)
Quote of the day #3
By Brendan Loy
"So Drudge is starting his thing, that he does every summer, where he's like, 'It's HOT! Global warming is REAL!' And then in the winter, he says, 'It's COLD! Global warming is NOT real!" --Becky
I love the law
By Brendan Loy
Particularly when, in the course of doing legal research, I stumble across a citation like this:
Validity, construction, and effect of restrictive covenants as to trees and shrubbery, 13 A.L.R.4th 1346
(See also.)
Numbnut?!?
By David K.
Who said spelling bees were boring!
McCain on SNL
By Brendan Loy
Heh.
Obama conspiracy-theory porn
By Brendan Loy
Ben Smith brings us up to date on the latest Obama conspiracy theory, courtesy of a former Lyndon LaRouche acolyte and a 9/11 Truth pamphleteer in South Bend.
Naturally, since this is a LaRouchie thing, they accuse Obama of being a closet conservative, "a pawn of -- wait for it -- the CIA, the Ford Foundation, the Trilateral Commission, and Zbigniew Brzezinksi." LOL!
(I actually tried once to read a lengthy LaRouche pamphlet in its entirety, after a LaRouchie on USC's campus gave it to me. I literally couldn't get through it. It was utterly incomprehensible due to its sheer lunacy and logical incoherence. Those people are nuts.)
Smith also notes that the Reverend Wright controversy isn't quelling the Obama-as-secret-Muslim rumors: "I just got a viral email trying to resolve a major source of cognitive conspiracy dissonance by claiming that Trinity United Church is an Islamic front." Heh. God bless America.
Heh.
By Brendan Loy
Hmm... now, does this "humanize" Hillary, or make her an effete, out-of-touch elitist? We embed, you decide!
(In fairness, I have trouble with those things sometimes too.)
P.S. She's also never heard of Red Bull, and she hasn't pumped her own gas in years. Elitist!! ;)
On a more serious note, after the jump are the clips of Bill O'Reilly's interview with Hillary this morning in South Bend. Notre Dame fans should at least watch the first minute of the first clip -- there's a Fighting Irish reference!
Also, Buffalo-area readers may want to skip ahead to around 5:45 in the second clip, where he (briefly) takes her to task for not improving the Western New York economy. w00t!
Lesbians sue lesbians in battle over Lesbos
By Brendan Loy
ATHENS, Greece (AP) - A Greek court has been asked to draw the line between the natives of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos and the world's gay women.
Three islanders from Lesbos—home of the ancient poet Sappho, who praised love between women—have taken a gay rights group to court for using the word lesbian in its name.
One of the plaintiffs said Wednesday that the name of the association, Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.
"My sister can't say she is a Lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou. "Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos," he said.
Tee hee. (Hat tip: Mark Steyn, who says "lawyers in Gay, Michigan will be watching the case with interest." Heh. Just wait until Dildo, Newfoundland and Intercourse, Pennsylvania get in on the action!) P.S. Maybe Angela Keathley and Renee Thomas can file amicus briefs? (Hat tip: A&A.)
Other things Barack Obama isn't ready for
By Brendan Loy
As I mentioned earlier, Hillary Clinton released a TV ad yesterday implying that Barack Obama isn't "ready" to deal with such unpredictable events as a stock market crash, a world war, a cold war, a gas shortage crisis, the fall of the Berlin Wall (wait, wasn't that a good thing?), or a devastating hurricane, nor to contend with such unsavory characters as Fidel Castro and Osama bin Laden.
It's an interesting argument, but Senator Clinton is clearly leaving some things out. For instance, as I wrote this morning, the appearance of unexplained light formations over Florida and Arizona obviously leaves Obama vulnerable to the charge that he's not ready to protect Americans from UFOs. (Alas, if only Kucinich were still in the race! This could be his moment!)
But that's not all. Jimmy Kimmel, apparently taking a brief break from f***ing Ben Affleck, helpfully points out some other possible calamities that could befall America:
Is Barack Obama READY to protect Cleveland from Bigfoot???
Idiot drives bus into bridge
By Brendan Loy
Maybe dashboard GPS devices should come with a warning label that reads, "You still have to look at the road, dumbass":
The driver of the bus carrying the Garfield High School girls softball team that hit a brick and concrete footbridge was using a GPS navigation system that routed the tall bus under the 9-foot bridge, the charter company's president said Thursday.
Steve Abegg, president of Journey Lines in Lynnwood, said the off-the-shelf navigation unit had settings for car, motorcycle, bus or truck.
Although the unit was set for a bus, it chose a route through [Seattle's] Washington Park Arboretum that did not provide enough clearance for the nearly 12-foot-high vehicle, Abegg said. The driver told police he did not see the flashing lights or yellow sign posting the bridge height.
"We haven't really had serious problems with anything, but here it's presented a problem that we didn't consider," Abegg said of the GPS unit. "We just thought it would be a safe route because, why else would they have a selection for a bus?"
"It" presented a problem? The GPS unit is the problem? Really?!
Well anyway, no one was seriously hurt, thank God. And, having said that: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Said Garmin spokesman Ted Gartner: "The bigger comment here is that drivers always need to obey all the rules of the road at all times. Stoplights aren't in our databases, either, but you're still expected to stop for stoplights." LOL!
The best part about this is, it wasn't even close. Remember the truck that six inches too tall for the Lincoln Tunnel? Well, at least that was only six inches. This bus was three feet too tall to fit under the bridge! Here's the photo evidence:
A local RV seller is quoted in the P-I story as saying, "If this guy was a professional driver, he should have known his bus was 12 feet high and couldn't fit into a 9-foot box." A professional driver?? If this guy was a trained monkey, he should have known that! It doesn't exactly take a genius to realize, as you're approaching a bridge, that the vehicle you're driving is way, way too tall to clear the bridge.
The Seattle Times has more, including word that the bridge wasn't structurally damaged. The Times also mentions that, on top of everything else, the softball team lost the game it was returning from, 10-0. Oh, and they give the driver's name, Brad Adams. I actually kind of feel bad for the guy. He must be so freakin' embarrassed. Not to mention prayerfully hoping that none of those softball players develop injuries that would make for a good claim of damages in a negligence lawsuit...
(Hat tip: David K.)
Random YouTube of the day: Captain Vegetable
By Brendan Loy
A bit of joyful bizarreness to brighten up your tax day, courtesy of Sesame Street circa 1982:
I dare you to not have that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day. :)
(Hat tip: Barb.)
Fun with lolcats
By Brendan Loy
Heh.
By Brendan Loy
Hillary Says Memphis National Champ Despite KU Having More Points: "Just because some team comes along in the last minute and scores more points than the other guy doesn't mean they're necessarily able to be National Champion on Day One." (Hat tip: GT12.)
Robot Dhimmitude Watch
By Brendan Loy
Glenn Reynolds's hyperactive sense of political correctness is blinding him to the threat robots pose!
For God's sake, Glenn, think of the Insta-Mom!! When they grab her with those metal claws, she won't be able to break free, because they’re made of metal, and robots are strong.
"Big, black dogs just don't get adopted"
By Brendan Loy
Andrew Hiller on this story: "It's time to stop barking, and start listening. An invitation to a national conversation on dog race." Heh.
As the owner of a big, black dog, I am personally offended by the prejudice against said dogs, and I hereby demand that all the presidential candidates immediately and personally reject and denounce the dog-racist sentiments which CNN has bravely shined a light on... and if any candidate does not do so within the next five minutes, I will consider him or her to be presumptively a dog-racist! :P
Ohio: it's a quagmire!
By Brendan Loy
I knew the mortgage crisis had hit Ohio hard, but I didn't realize things were as bad in the Buckeye State as this headline suggests:
Obama, Clinton Respond to Bush’s Speech on the War in Ohio
Personally, I think we should withdraw our troops from Ohio immediately. We must stand down so the Ohioans can stand up.
Speaking of the Shuttle...
By Brendan Loy
Jim Kelly for Congress?
By Brendan Loy
Former Buffalo Bills quarterback Jim Kelly is reportedly considering a run for Congress as a Republican.
Let's see: he can serve in the House for four years, run for Hillary Clinton's Senate seat in 2012, win in a stunning upset, make a national name for himself, and then in 2016, when President Obama is termed out...
...can you say Kelly-Norwood '16?
You may scoff, but the ticket has some major built-in political advantages. First of all, they'd win the normally Democratic state of New York in a landslide, by uniting nostalgic Bills fans and grateful Giants fans. And secondly, they'd have no problems motivating the conservative base. After all, nobody knows how to aim for the right like Scott Norwood! It'd be a vast wide-right wing conspiracy!
:P
(Hat tip: Hugging Harold Reynolds. To all my Buffalo readers, including my wife, I apologize. I couldn't resist.)
One frog's shining moment
By Brendan Loy
In the aftermath of Duke's win over Belmont on Thursday, the NBC affiliate in the Raleigh-Durham area bypassed the CBS/NCAA embargo on tournament game highlights by re-enacting the game using dolls:
Heh! Somebody get this guy a network gig. And I want to see that frog in One Shining Moment, dammit.
(Hat tip: AOL Fanhouse.)
Oooooklahoma, where the bombs are falling from the planes
By David K.
Last Thursday, Tulsa, Oklahoma joined Boise City, Oklahoma in a strange brotherhood. Both cities have now been bombed by American forces. A National Guard plane en route to a bombing practice run at a range in Kansas apparently lost one of its bombs, which crashed through an apartment complex in Tulsa. The bomb was a 22-pound dummy bomb, and no one was at home at the time it crashed into the bathroom of Tulsa residents Jeremy Isbell and his wife.
Hitler is a Cowboys fan
By Brendan Loy
Robert Cox of Asgard Press (the people who make those vintage college-football calendars, which y'all bought $150 worth of in December) sent me this video last Thursday. It's a bit dated, as it was obviously made before the Super Bowl, but it's still freakin' funny, if you ask me. (Warning: subtitled profanity!)
Heh.
And while we're on the topic of funny, vulgar, YouTubey goodness: if you haven't seen them already, Sarah Silverman's Matt Damon video and Jimmy Kimmel's Ben Affleck rebuttal are pretty f***in' funny. Again, though: Warning! Bleeped-but-obvious profanity. Not recommended for the workplace. :)
Heh.
By Brendan Loy
Pillow talk
By Brendan Loy
This is how you know Becky and I are both huge dorks. We had the following exchange in bed last night, as we were each starting to drift off to sleep:
Brendan: "You know what would be awesome?"
Becky: "What?"
Brendan: "If there was a superdelegate with superpowers. He could be called Super-Superdelegate."
Becky: [pause] "That would be awesome."
Heaven help poor Loyette. ;)
Obama vs. the Queen of Darkness
By Brendan Loy
Your company has issues when:
By dcl
You need a tech support article for this.
Top Ten Obama Campaign Promises
By Brendan Loy
P.S. Older but funnier:
Thin is in.
By Jay Johnson
Looks like some are going to extremes to match the new MacBook Air's uber-thin profile.
Hat tip: Cult of Mac
He's not cowering under his afghan
By Brendan Loy
Glenn Reynolds wants a robot.
Don't do it, Glenn! Remember: when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free, because they're made of metal, and robots are strong.
P.S. There are Old Glory Robot Insurance t-shirts. Heh.
Obama presidency = comet impact
By Brendan Loy
Casey worries that, by electing Barack Obama president, we would be setting ourselves up for a catastrophic comet impact: "Black presidents are not good at destroying massive asteroids or comets. There’s a one-to-one correlation between black presidents and comet impacts." Heh.
Only in the South
By Brendan Loy
All I want for Christmas is... guns and knives!!!
Quoted without regard to context
By Brendan Loy
"Can I put Elton John under 'lesbian'?" --Becky
For your amusement...
By Brendan Loy
2007's corrections of the year. (Hat tip: Becky.)
I don't know whether that site published a similar item for 2006, but if they did, I would argue that Becky herself should have been in it (follow-up here).
Turkey, you're doing a heckuva job!
By Brendan Loy
It's Thanksgiving, which means it's time for the annual presidential turkey pardoning:
You know, when President Clinton was in office, a turkey had to donate $5,000 to his presidential library to get a pardon.
P.S. The Washington Post has an article on the history of the turkey-pardoning tradition, which apparently doesn't go back nearly as far as is annually reported. (Hint: 1989, not 1947. Bush, not Truman.)
UPDATE: Welcome, InstaPundit readers! I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.
Blame Canada Ryan Leaf
By Brendan Loy
Oregon's loss is all Ryan Leaf's fault. Heh.
Also: "Remember the implications of this: because of the injury to Dennis Dixon’s knee, we might see literally dozens of football players suffer career-ending injuries in their attempt to carry a victorious Mark Mangino off the field in New Orleans this January."
(For the uninitiated, that would be this Mark Mangino, he of the many cupcakes. h/t.)
UPDATE: Dennis Dixon is out for the season. DAMN YOU, RYAN LEAF!!!
Quote of the day
By Brendan Loy
"Hey, I want you to know something. My dad fought in the war so you could have the privilege to say dumb things." --Lou Holtz to Mark May on ESPN's College Football Final, after an argument over whether Kansas (10-0) is the best team in the country.
Heh.
Karl Dorrell and the race card
By Brendan Loy
Something we can agree on?
By dcl
10 points to the person that has the best joke by midnight: Disney closes Small World
Fun with geography
By Brendan Loy
I just learned that there is a Cheatham County in Tennessee. Naturally, this caused me to go Googling around for some other county names, and I soon discovered that there is a "Dewey County" in Oklahoma and another in South Dakota. Alas, there is apparently no "Howe County" anywhere in the United States. There are, however, cities and townships named "Howe" in Indiana, Oklahoma, Texas and Pennsylvania. One of those municipalities needs to get together with Cheatham County and one of the Dewey Counties to form some sort of sister city/county arrangement of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.
I don't understand Craigslist
By Jay Johnson
Apparently, Craigslist flagged my post for removal, and it got gone in a hurry.
I don't understand why.
Link not only probably NSFW, it's just generally in poor taste. There. You've been warned.
FEMA, providing comedy in troubled times
By Brendan Loy
FEMA: the federal agency so ridicluous, you can't really satirize it. Their latest stunt? A fake news conference:
The U.S. government's main disaster-response agency apologized on Friday for having its employees pose as reporters in a hastily called news conference on California's wildfires that no news organizations attended.
Heh!
FEMA "issued the apology after The Washington Post published details of the Tuesday briefing." Shocking! Somebody noticed! Who'd have thunk it? Jeez, these people can't even be incompetent competently.
"We can and must do better, and apologize for this error in judgment," FEMA deputy administrator Harvey Johnson, who conducted the briefing, said in a statement. "Our intent was to provide useful information and be responsive to the many questions we have received."
"Error in judgment"? LOL! In what conceivable universe could anyone have thought that this was the correct judgment, so as to make such an "error" possible?
No actual reporter attended the news conference in person, agency spokesman Aaron Walker said.A spokeswoman for Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who has authority over FEMA, called the incident "inexcusable and offensive to the secretary."
"We have made it clear that stunts such as this will not be tolerated or repeated," spokeswoman Laura Keehner said. She said the department was looking at the possibility of reprimanding those responsible.
Oh, that's good. Better yet, why don't you set up a committee to study the issue of whether a reprimand would be appropriate. And then create a panel to read that committee's report. And then ignore it and give the offending parties the Congressional Medal of Freedom instead.
God bless America.
It's been a crazy season...
By Brendan Loy
...but road-tripping USC alum Jonathan Tu has the scoop on the biggest upset of all.
Heh.
Flying flaming squirrel ignites car
By Brendan Loy
I'd love to see the insurance claim on this one:
[A squirrel] had been gnawing on overhead power lines connected to a transformer directly above the 2006 Toyota Camry."The squirrel chewed through the wire, was set on fire, fell down directly to where the car was," Tony Millar said. "The squirrel, on fire, slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car."
Heh.
Chris H. writes: "If one squirrel chews on power lines, I'm guessing more do. And if millions of squirrels nationwide are chewing on power lines, I'm guessing this isn't the only one to chew through and light itself on fire. Is there a national crisis in which flaming squirrels are plummeting from our skies? If so, it's being dramatically underreported by the media. I, for one, am worried."
Patterico points to another example of this unrecognized crisis: "About 6 months ago, the last time our power went out for any substantial period of time, it was due to a squirrel who died a fiery death in the transformer."
Quick, someone ask Rudy Giuliani what his plan is for dealing with this threat! AMERICA MUST BE PREPARED TO COMFORT THE AERIAL FLAMING-SQUIRREL MENACE!
(Hat tip: InstaPundit.)
Greetings from Eaux-klahoma
By Brendan Loy
I don't support gay-bashing, but I do support LSU-bashing, and, um, well, this is just funny. Offensive and juvenile and politically incorrect, yes, but funny. Ha ha ha.
More Irish-Trojan humor
By Brendan Loy
From comments yesterday (modified slightly for family-friendliness):
Heh. Also, here are a couple of Irish-mocking video clips that I've been sent recently. And before you non-Trojan Domers get all "you're not a real fan" on me, both of these were actually sent to me by 100% loyal Irish fans who will be rooting for ND on Saturday. So they're legit! :)
Heh.
By Brendan Loy
Irish-Trojan humor
By Brendan Loy
The "NDCHOOCHOO" blog offers some funny "story lines" for the USC-Notre Dame game:
The Streak: USC last lost to Notre Dame in 2001. That loss will not be forgotten by USC, however, as 9th Year Senior Chauncey Washington was just a 3rd year sophomore back then, and will recount his expereinces with the team, after his Geritol.
Snooping Around: Yes, USC supporter and mascot, Snoop Dogg will make the trip out the Notre Dame for the game. Apparently, Desmond Reed told him that there was some really "funky grass" at Notre Dame, and Snooop wanted to check it out for himself. ...
The Fall of Troy: USC is no longer in contention for the National Championship. In fact, they are only in third place in their own conference. To make matters worse, as it stands now, with UCLA's win last season, USC is only the second best team in their own city. In stark contrast, Notre Dame enters the game atop the South Bend polls.
Heh.
He also refers to USC's injured quarterback as "John David Steven Morris Upton Booty." Again, heh.
Brit predicts "intimate" relations with robots
By Brendan Loy
Someday, humans will marry robots, says a British researcher:
The University of Maastricht in the Netherlands is awarding a doctorate to a researcher who wrote a paper on marriages between humans and robots.
David Levy, a British artificial intelligence researcher at the college, wrote in his thesis, "Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners," that trends in robotics and shifting attitudes on marriage are likely to result in sophisticated robots that will eventually be seen as suitable marriage partners.
The robots won't marry us for love... they'll marry us so they can eat our parents' medicine when we aren't looking!!!
Literally Lieberman
By Brendan Loy
Some people say Joe Lieberman is not liberal enough. I say he's not literal enough!
Quote of the day
By Brendan Loy
Justice Clarence Thomas: "About the only way I would get invited to Columbia is if I was a Middle East dictator with nuclear weapons." Heh! (Hat tip: InstaPundit.)
Grammar nerds unite!
By Brendan Loy
Here's a blog devoted to mocking the unnecessary and inappropriate use of quotation marks. Here's one devoted to apostrophe abuse. Here's another. And here's a blog that makes fun of people who misuse the word "literally." That particular error literally drive's me up the "wall."
(Hat tip: Andrew Sullivan.)
Pregnancy in a nutshell
By Brendan Loy
WARNING: Clip contains profanity!
From Knocked Up:
Heh.
A very funny movie, that is -- especially when you're expecting. :)
Hook 'em, Hitlers!
By Brendan Loy
Following hot on the heels of yesterday's proof that Bush is Hitler, now we have proof that the Texas Longhorns are evil -- or at least, that they're supported by both President Bush, who the Left believes is Hitler, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who the Right believes is Hitler! Texas: favorite team of the Little Hitlers! Mack Brown, Colt McCoy and Limas Sweed are the new axis of evil!
P.S. This post invokes Godwin's Law on the Texas football season, which means the Longhorns are now obligated to forfeit all of their remaining games. Congratulations, Oklahoma, you've just won the Big 12 South. :)
Proof!
By David K.
Chimpy McBushitler for real!!!
Obligatory disclaimer: The above post is a joke. Anyone who takes it seriously is also a joke. We now return you to your regular scheduled blogging.
LOL
By Brendan Loy
Ahoy there!
By dcl
Even though it be Talk Like A Pirate Day, remember, there are some things ye just shouldn't say like a pirate.
Quote of the day
By Brendan Loy
Becky, complaining to her mother about a $3.99 "sale" on chicken at Kroger's:
"That's not a sale price! That's extortion! This is chicken, not gold!"
Did you hear the one about the guy who has this dog, and he says, "My dog Max is the biggest USC Trojan football fan of any damn dog in the country. Every year when USC plays Notre Dame, he gets so excited! Every time 'SC scores a touchdown, he jumps up and down and barks, and when USC wins the game, he does back-flips and cartwheels."
So the guy's buddy says, "Well, what's he do when Notre Dame beats USC?"
The guy says, "I don't know. He's only 6 years old."