By Brendan Loy
It's been a nightmare beginning for Notre Dame. They got the ball first, and their first offensive play was a horrible snap that almost led to a safety, and ultimately allowed Michigan to get the ball back around the Irish 40. After the Domer defense held the Skunkbears to a field goal, QB Jimmy Clausen fumbled the ball away inside the 25, and Michigan scored a quick touchdown to make it 10-0. The offense's third time on the field, there was another botched snap and another fumble (albeit one the Irish recovered), and Michigan got it back again. They didn't score, though, and Tom Zbikowski returned the punt into Michigan territory -- only to have it called back on a clipping penalty. A couple of plays later, the Irish again fumbled it away inside their own territory... and Armando Allen was injured on the play. So, pretty much a worst-case scenario so far.
UPDATE: 17-0. And the Irish have "gained" a total of -19 yards so far.
Meanwhile, Florida leads Tennessee 14-3 and Ohio State is up 3-0 over Washington.
UPDATE 2: And Clausen throws an interception. Michigan again gets the ball in Irish territory.
"I don't see how they could possibly be playing any worse. ... This is shockingly appalling." --Becky
UPDATE 3: 24-0, with 11:28 left in the first half. Over at Blue-Gray Sky, their heads are exploding. There is talk of a 140-0 USC margin, and of losing to Navy. Can we still depend on beating Duke?
UPDATE 4: Washington just scored a touchdown with three seconds left in the second quarter!! Huskies lead Ohio State 7-3 at halftime.
Meanwhile, a few choice comments from BGS:
"Dejavu. After I had lunch today I made a deposit in the toilet that looked just like the ND offense."
"0-12 is not a fantasy... we're well on our way, y'all."
"days like this are difficult since i quit drinking. maybe i'll get some heroin."
"I've decided to just listen to the game on the radio. In my car. In my garage. With the engine running. And the windows down. It's better like this."
"I'm turning Protestant after this game"
UPDATE 5: 31-0 Michigan, with less than a minute left in the first half.
I daresay I'll be watching a lot more of the second half of UW-tOSU than of ND-UM.
Oh, and it's 28-6 Florida over Tennessee. So yeah: Huskies-Buckeyes it is. Go Dawgs! Go Pac-10!
UPDATE 6: Things have gotten bad enough that ND Nation has apparently shut down its football message board. Also, while the general-interest board The Back Room is still open, football-related posts are apparently being deleted from it. [UPDATE: Confirmed. There was a response to this post saying, "He was running from the Michigan defense." It has disappeared.]
The folks who run ND Nation get all censorious like this occasionally, when they deem that people are getting too angry and disloyal to Notre Dame in their furious comments. They did it when the Irish lost Urban Meyer to Florida, and they're doing it now. I think it's quite lame.
UPDATE 7: After a 96-yard interception return for a Tennessee touchdown, the Vols are within 28-20 of Florida. ...
... But, literally just as I was typing that sentence, Eric Ainge "pulled a Clausen," fumbling the ball deep in his own territory, and a Florida player picked it up and ran it in for a TD. So, 35-20 Gators. Damn.
UPDATE 8: One of the announcers on ABC just said something about Penn State's "impressive victory over Buffalo" earlier today. Huh? Is it possible for a Top 25 team to have an "impressive victory over Buffalo"? And even if it is, would a 45-24 win count?
UPDATE 9: Sharpley's in. Clausen was 11-of-17 for 74 yards... and was sacked eight times.
UPDATE 10: Michigan 38, Notre Dame 0, final.
Ohio State and Florida are both going to win, too. So all of the teams I was rooting for in this afternoon's "big three" games, lost.
Now I'm watching Central Florida vs. Texas on ESPN2. George O'Leary's team is threatening to stun the Longhorns... and Texas losing always makes me happy. Go Knights!
UPDATE 11: ND Nation's football board has reopened... and a quick glance at the posts makes clear that, if Charlie Weis's honeymoon with Irish fans wasn't definitively over after the first two weeks, it is now.
UPDATE 12: According to a commenter, I'm wrong about ND Nation:
Brendan and others, FYI: NDNation has a policy all this season of closing the football boards during games. This is to concentrate play-by-play discussion on the Game Day boards. They do this for all nationally televised games in any ND sport on its respective board.
However, nothing appears on the Game Day board from prior to 6:43 PM, which is around the same time they re-opened the regular football boards. So unless they routinely delete everything that's posted there immediately after the game, I still think they were being censorious because of the nature of today's loss. Especially considering that, over on the Back Room, they were threatening to ban anyone who commented about football.
Did you hear the one about the guy who has this dog, and he says, "My dog Max is the biggest USC Trojan football fan of any damn dog in the country. Every year when USC plays Notre Dame, he gets so excited! Every time 'SC scores a touchdown, he jumps up and down and barks, and when USC wins the game, he does back-flips and cartwheels."
So the guy's buddy says, "Well, what's he do when Notre Dame beats USC?"
The guy says, "I don't know. He's only 6 years old."