You, too, can apply to be Hawaii's coach

Heh: In the wake of June Jones's departure as Hawaii's head football coach, state-employee union rules have forced the university to post the job on the Internets, available for anyone to apply. "By mutual agreement with the Hawai'i Government Employees Association, the position must be advertised for at least five working days." It was posted on Tuesday, so you have until at least Saturday to apply:

Head Football Coach, position number 80110, UHM Athletics, (Manoa), Duties: Under administrative direction, Coach is responsible for planning, administering, and evaluating the overall operation of the intercollegiate football program to include, but not limited to, academic achievement of student-athletes, recruitment of qualified prospects, supervision of assistant coaches and other staff assigned to the program, compliance, program management (eligibility, scheduling, travel, budget, equipment), and student-athlete welfare. The head coach assumes full responsibility for ensuring that team performance is competitive in the Western Athletic Conference (WAC) with the goal of achieving post-season competition.

And so on, and so forth. Applicants must submit a cover letter, a resume, three references, and UH Form 64. (God bless bureaucracy.) "Review of applications will begin on Jan-15-2008 and will continue until the position is filled." They've received 30 applications so far -- including, apparently, one from former Michigan State coach John L. Smith.

This is kind of ironic, at least in the Alanis Morrisette sense, considering that Smith's Spartans lost 41-38 at Hawaii in 2004, then spent the better part of 2006 trying to weasel their way out of a contract to play there again in 2007. They finally succeeded -- though not until after Coach Slappy had already been fired -- paying $250,000 for the right to not play Hawaii.

The scheduling cowardice of Smith & co. helped doom Hawaii to an abysmal SOS rating, while allowing Michigan State (under new coach Mark Dantonio) to go 4-0 in its non-conference slate against cupcakes UAB, Bowling Green, Pitt and Notre Dame. (Okay, so those last two might not have been cupcakes when they were scheduled, but still...)

And now, Smith wants to go to Hawaii. For good. He's not shy about it, either, telling a reporter: "With 18 years of collegiate head coaching experience and over 130 wins, I would hope that would qualify me as a candidate to be the next head coach at the University of Hawaii."

"And if they don't hire me, I'll slap myself," he added.

Okay, maybe he didn't actually say that last part. But oh, John L. Smith, how I've missed you.

Hawaii, please, please, make this happen. It'll be good for college football. Check that: great for college football. John L. Smith doing crazy s**t while wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a lei = COMEDY GOLD.

(Hat tip: EDSBS.)

In other coaching news, it seems a Washington booster offered the school $100,000 to fire Ty Willingham.

Comments

[Marty West]

The mental picture I just had of Smith wearing a Hawaiin shirt and slapping himself in the face while yelling at people just made my day.

[David K.]

So a rich fat cat who probably never played a down of football in his life wants the coach fired, meanwhile recruits are choosing UW BECAUSE of Willingham, players support him and former UW and other players support him. The last time the UW AD followed the "advice" of the boosters we got Rick Neu-weasel and we all saw how well THAT worked out.

[Brian Foster]

The scheduling cowardice of Smith & co.

My understanding is that the desire to get out of the contract had nothing to do with cowardice and everything to do with the fact that the 2004 trip, as well as the 2005 basketball team's trip, was absolutely abysmal, from accommodations to board to hospitality to officiating. A road game at Hawaii sounds nice but a quick perusal of the interwebs reveals that it's actually a trip to Hell.

Also, MSU 42, Hawaii 14, 9/10/2005. In which several Hawaii players revealed themselves as the unsportsmanlike thugs they were at that time. (No comment on the 2007 edition.)

[Brian Foster]

Also, there was definitely no love lost between Jones and Smith. Whether that developed purely as a result of the 2004 game, or whether it stretched back to the days when JLS was in the WAC with Utah State, I know not. But there was lots of comment flying back and forth in 2004 and 2005. Something about not exchanging game film, as I recall. And I believe JLS made fun of Jones' shirts, so yeah, it would be pretty funny if he a) got the job and b) wore the shirts.

Oh, and:

cupcakes UAB, Bowling Green, Pitt and Notre Dame. (Okay, so those last two might not have been cupcakes when they were scheduled, but still...)

Don't forget that Bowling Green was a bowl team. So we were certainly trying to have a decent non-conference schedule.

And hey, at least we schedule the better MAC teams. They're like really good cupcakes, with sprinkles on top and pudding in the middle, instead of your typical plain boring cupcakes. We should get credit for that. :)

[Brendan Loy]

LOL.

Mmmm... cupcakes.

[ChrisN]

You think that's good - you should have seen the online application for the Duke football coach:

http://www.gatorcountry.com/swampgas/showthread.php?t=38227

Please note that winning games is NOT a requirement of the Head Coach's job at Duke (as it is in the case of Hawaii, which says the team must be competitive, etc.)

Full disclosure: I am a North Carolina grad, which is why I find this funny. As a lifelong Georgia Bulldog fan, I hate the Gators; the linked site just happens to be the one that came up first in google.

[Wobbly H]

I don't see how the Ty story is newsworthy. Donors do stuff like that all the time. Either way, Davie's comments notwithstanding, there is a lot of discontent over the decision to keep Ty, and it's rumored that he came very close to being bought out before Turner stepped in.